fainting | It's Me Laura Lee

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When I came to it was because Autumn was licking my face.  Then, she put herself in the brace position so I could get myself up.  Although, I only got up to my knees because I had already fainted multiple times.  And, if I was only on my knees I didn’t have far to fall.  She was a good dog, but this is the first time we seemed to bond.  Over the bloody mess that was my face.

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Laura Lee, 53, with invisible wounds and scars. I've learned to embrace PTSD and depression because if I don't own them, they'll own me.  I don't want to simply survive, but to thrive.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.  It's sure to be a bumpy road.

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When I came to it was because Autumn was licking my face.  Then, she put herself in the brace position so I could get myself up.  Although, I only got up to my knees because I had already fainted multiple times.  And, if I was only on my knees I didn’t have far to fall.  She was a good dog, but this is the first time we seemed to bond.  Over the bloody mess that was my face.

“Just hurry!” I told him.

He walked in the door and saw me sitting at the edge of the living room floor in a puddle of blood.  He ran to me and asked me what happened.  “I fainted again.”

She called the meatwagon.  I was disappointed in myself.  I was beating up on myself.  I let her down.  I let Scott and the kids down.  I let my parents down.  I had to reconcile this somehow, but I didn’t know how to, until I decided that I’d try again in 2020.  In the meantime, I’d stay behind and support Pam.  If she decided she needed to be crewed I’d drive the car and meet her – as scary as that would be for me, I’d do it for her.

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Laura Lee, 52, with invisible wounds and scars.  I've learned to embrace PTSD and depression because if I don't own them, they'll own me.  I don't want to simply survive, but to thrive.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.  It's sure to be a bumpy road.

 TheBlog

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