When I came to it was because Autumn was licking my face.  Then, she put herself in the brace position so I could get myself up.  Although, I only got up to my knees because I had already fainted multiple times.  And, if I was only on my knees I didn’t have far to fall.  She was a good dog, but this is the first time we seemed to bond.  Over the bloody mess that was my face.

She called the meatwagon.  I was disappointed in myself.  I was beating up on myself.  I let her down.  I let Scott and the kids down.  I let my parents down.  I had to reconcile this somehow, but I didn’t know how to, until I decided that I’d try again in 2020.  In the meantime, I’d stay behind and support Pam.  If she decided she needed to be crewed I’d drive the car and meet her – as scary as that would be for me, I’d do it for her.