Self Care | It's Me Laura Lee

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It’s simple and to the point. It lets you off the hook without going into an in-depth explanation or making an excuse for why you don’t want to attend your cousin’s cat’s third birthday party (families are complicated).

It’s simple and to the point. It lets you off the hook without going into an in-depth explanation or making an excuse for why you don’t want to attend your cousin’s cat’s third birthday party (families are complicated).

Once you realize you’ve spent too much time saying yes to the wrong things, it’s normal to feel trapped. You feel as if you can’t back out now. You might worry that everyone will think you’re a quitter or that you’ll let the people around you down. But continuing with an external yes when you’re feeling an internal no is a sure recipe for burn out, exhaustion, and crankiness.

It’s tempting to believe that if you say no to that next event or opportunity that the world will somehow collapse. But the truth is that “no” rarely means we miss out—it’s often the opposite. By saying no, we get to create more of what we want in life. If you’re having trouble with this word, here are just a few of the amazing things benefits you can expect when you use your “no” more often…

She gave my words some more thought and decided she needed to step back and say no more often. Along the way, she discovered some exciting benefits of embracing her beautiful “no”…

It is easy during a crisis to spend all of your time bemoaning what you want to be different. For example, my mom has been diagnosed with  stage 4 lung cancer – her 5th time with a cancer diagnosis and she’s been on chemo treatment the entire time.  I didn’t know until just as Covid-19 was making it’s appearance and it was decided it was best I didn’t visit for fear that I might be a carrier of coronavirus or something else.   It would be easy at this point to spend my time regretting all the time I’ve missed together since I live 3000 miles away and to be quite honest, sometimes I do, but it does me no good.

Understand that any time you face a crisis, it can be overwhelming. You may find yourself struggling with what to do next and that’s completely normal. But the important thing is you take action, avoid victim thinking, refuse to recue others, and focus on making clear-headed decisions.

Keep in mind crises fall into one of two categories: short-term or long-term. A short-term crisis may only last a few days to a few weeks whereas a long-term crisis can last months or even years. A short-term crisis is typically resolved quickly but a long-term crisis is ongoing.

Remember that one crisis can lead to the next. A medical crisis could become a financial crisis if you’re forced to take time off your job for a much-needed surgery. A family crisis could become a health crisis if the stress from dealing with a cheating spouse begins to affect your mental health.

It’s important to understand the different types of crises and understand which one you’re facing. But know that a crisis doesn’t have to be the end of you. You can overcome anything life throws your way.  Anything.

A personal crisis can look differently for different people. You may be experiencing an unexpected divorce, the diagnosis of a chronic illness, a job loss, the death of a loved one, or losing your home to foreclosure. These moments can leave you feeling scared, overwhelmed, or angry.

Fear is an important warning mechanism our brains use to keep us safe. Some fear is important- even beneficial, while other fears are petty or exceedingly disruptive. Assessing which types of fear has value and banning fears that don’t will help you live a balanced life that isn’t distracted by an abundance of fear.

Some fear is normal. Being in an intense situation or going through an emotionally difficult time makes fear an expected part of the experience. In these cases, fear generally dissipates when the situation improves. Normal doses of fear don’t do harm to the body or cause long-term emotional issues. Our bodies are designed to manage and withstand fear.

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Laura Lee, 52, with invisible wounds and scars.  I've learned to embrace PTSD and depression because if I don't own them, they'll own me.  I don't want to simply survive, but to thrive.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.  It's sure to be a bumpy road.

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