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I was in deep.  And, I was falling deeper.  I was Alice – falling down the rabbit hole and watching everything as it passed me by.  Except, my rabbit hole wasn’t fanciful, it was dark.  The dong of the clock bellowed and echoed between my ears.  The mirror reflected back to me an image I did not recognize, and yet it cried when I cried.  It was angry when I was angry.  Falling through the center of the earth was something I longed for.  It was a way out without having to be the one responsible for the path.

I was in deep.  And, I was falling deeper.  I was Alice – falling down the rabbit hole and watching everything as it passed me by.  Except, my rabbit hole wasn’t fanciful, it was dark.  The dong of the clock bellowed and echoed between my ears.  The mirror reflected back to me an image I did not recognize, and yet it cried when I cried.  It was angry when I was angry.  Falling through the center of the earth was something I longed for.  It was a way out without having to be the one responsible for the path.

He opened the door to the office and in his hand was a plate of food.  My food.  I thanked him and put it down beside me – right of my laptop.  It looked so good and smelled even better.  I kept typing away, answering emails, rat-a-tat-tat on the keyboard and without missing a beat I typed with only my left hand and grabbed a fork full of tilapia with my right.  My glaze never leaving the computer screen.

I cringe when I hear or see people say things akin to, “I’m sooo OCD!”  When did OCD become a social norm, or something to strive for?  I find myself having to justify my OCD diagnosis by saying things like, “I TRULY have OCD,” or “I LEGITIMATELY have OCD.”  As in, I take medication for it and it disrupts my life.

Then one day, my therapist not only suggested that I color, but encouraged it – even during our sessions.  And, I discovered that I could color for 15 minutes or for 60 minutes and keep myself distracted from my symptoms long enough to let them melt away.  And, at the same time, I was more focused.

A friend recently had a summer cold.  I’m not sure what’s worse – getting a cold in the dead of winter or on a bright sunshiney day.  I created these sinus steamers for her.  They work like a charm and they’re oh-so-easy to make!

I don’t know about you, but I take more baths in the winter than I do in the summertime, but when I do take a summer bath, I want it to count.  Know what I mean? I created these bath bombs with Cozy Cashmere fragrance oil and REAL cashmere.   Ingredients: 3 Cups Baking Soda […]

The truth is, that I worked myself to the point of exhaustion whereas Tiffani, who isn’t much older than my son, knew how to create boundaries and more importantly, kept them.A couple of years later, all the extra hours I put in didn’t matter. I was being terminated – wrongfully, after being a whistleblower. I even ended up on the front page of the New York Times on New Year’s Day 2018. It was then, that I realized that Tiffani had the right idea.

“Do this race with me,” she said.“ It will be fun,” she said.“ We can bond over it,” she said. I said, “You’re NUTS!”  And, then I signed up.I signed up for a 500K race.  That’s not a typo. 

For those who want the nourishing effects of butters and oils without the fizz of a bath bomb, bath melts or solid bath oils are perfect.  They’re easier to make, too, because they aren’t as finicky as bath bombs.  These bath melts are made with geranium essential oil.  You can substitute an essential oil of your choice.   If you choose to use fragrance oil (FO) instead, be sure to check the recommended usage amount because it will be different. 

We needed the break from each other, and we needed to learn that we wanted each other.  Note that I said ‘want’ and not ‘need.’  I’d rather be wanted than needed.  Having a hard time with that concept? Think about this….God doesn’t need us, but He wants us.  In fact, He seeks us.I want Scott and he wants me. 

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Laura Lee, 52, with invisible wounds and scars.  I've learned to embrace PTSD and depression because if I don't own them, they'll own me.  I don't want to simply survive, but to thrive.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.  It's sure to be a bumpy road.

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