self care | It's Me Laura Lee

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It’s simple and to the point. It lets you off the hook without going into an in-depth explanation or making an excuse for why you don’t want to attend your cousin’s cat’s third birthday party (families are complicated).

It’s simple and to the point. It lets you off the hook without going into an in-depth explanation or making an excuse for why you don’t want to attend your cousin’s cat’s third birthday party (families are complicated).

Once you realize you’ve spent too much time saying yes to the wrong things, it’s normal to feel trapped. You feel as if you can’t back out now. You might worry that everyone will think you’re a quitter or that you’ll let the people around you down. But continuing with an external yes when you’re feeling an internal no is a sure recipe for burn out, exhaustion, and crankiness.

It’s tempting to believe that if you say no to that next event or opportunity that the world will somehow collapse. But the truth is that “no” rarely means we miss out—it’s often the opposite. By saying no, we get to create more of what we want in life. If you’re having trouble with this word, here are just a few of the amazing things benefits you can expect when you use your “no” more often…

She gave my words some more thought and decided she needed to step back and say no more often. Along the way, she discovered some exciting benefits of embracing her beautiful “no”…

It is easy during a crisis to spend all of your time bemoaning what you want to be different. For example, my mom has been diagnosed with  stage 4 lung cancer – her 5th time with a cancer diagnosis and she’s been on chemo treatment the entire time.  I didn’t know until just as Covid-19 was making it’s appearance and it was decided it was best I didn’t visit for fear that I might be a carrier of coronavirus or something else.   It would be easy at this point to spend my time regretting all the time I’ve missed together since I live 3000 miles away and to be quite honest, sometimes I do, but it does me no good.

Fear is an important warning mechanism our brains use to keep us safe. Some fear is important- even beneficial, while other fears are petty or exceedingly disruptive. Assessing which types of fear has value and banning fears that don’t will help you live a balanced life that isn’t distracted by an abundance of fear.

There’s an idea that people buy into called “sunk costs”. It’s the belief that you’ve already invested so much time, energy, or money, you should continue to do so. For example, you might hate your career but say to yourself, “I’ve already been in this field for two years.”

The cornerstone of the IDGAF mindset is to make decisions without apologies or explanations. Think about it—you’ve probably found yourself stuck in a situation you were trying to avoid after giving someone a valid explanation.

From now on, let’s call this collection of people your “itty-bitty icky committee.”  I know some of you are already replacing ‘icky’ with another word – go ahead.  It’s ok.  These are the people that spew ick on everything you do and try to make you feel like a jerk when you call them out on their bad behavior.

When you’re making an important life decision, it’s natural to feel a bit confused or overwhelmed. You may bring in others in the hopes that they’ll guide you into making the best decision. Often, this is driven by a need for approval and a lack of confidence in yourself.

But everything you already need to make the right decision—the best decision for you—is within yourself. You know what you need. You know what option falls in line with your values. You know what will ultimately make you happiest.


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Laura Lee, 52, with invisible wounds and scars.  I've learned to embrace PTSD and depression because if I don't own them, they'll own me.  I don't want to simply survive, but to thrive.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.  It's sure to be a bumpy road.



You don't want to miss what Cricket and I are up to, or the latest bath bomb recipe, right?  Don't worry, I don't like SPAM either!  And, remember - you're in the no judgment zone!

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