BROWSE
Self Care
She called the meatwagon. I was disappointed in myself. I was beating up on myself. I let her down. I let Scott and the kids down. I let my parents down. I had to reconcile this somehow, but I didn’t know how to, until I decided that I’d try again in 2020. In the meantime, I’d stay behind and support Pam. If she decided she needed to be crewed I’d drive the car and meet her – as scary as that would be for me, I’d do it for her.
There are many ways to modulate your frustrations. Napping is one of them. In one study, nappers who took a 60-minute nap were less impulsive. I’m a napper. Like an everyday napper. Don’t take away my naps. Like really. Don’t do it.
I was in deep. And, I was falling deeper. I was Alice – falling down the rabbit hole and watching everything as it passed me by. Except, my rabbit hole wasn’t fanciful, it was dark. The dong of the clock bellowed and echoed between my ears. The mirror reflected back to me an image I did not recognize, and yet it cried when I cried. It was angry when I was angry. Falling through the center of the earth was something I longed for. It was a way out without having to be the one responsible for the path.
Then one day, my therapist not only suggested that I color, but encouraged it – even during our sessions. And, I discovered that I could color for 15 minutes or for 60 minutes and keep myself distracted from my symptoms long enough to let them melt away. And, at the same time, I was more focused.
A friend recently had a summer cold. I’m not sure what’s worse – getting a cold in the dead of winter or on a bright sunshiney day. I created these sinus steamers for her. They work like a charm and they’re oh-so-easy to make!
The truth is, that I worked myself to the point of exhaustion whereas Tiffani, who isn’t much older than my son, knew how to create boundaries and more importantly, kept them.A couple of years later, all the extra hours I put in didn’t matter. I was being terminated – wrongfully, after being a whistleblower. I even ended up on the front page of the New York Times on New Year’s Day 2018. It was then, that I realized that Tiffani had the right idea.